Not yet, Cary.
Hmm.
- Barnaby, you have the key. - Ah?
Well, look for it, darling.
Hmm.
Look in this first pocket. That's usually where you hide it.
Oh, yeah. Oh, but I didn't hide it.
I put it there so I could find it. Here it is.
Would you turn on the porch light and turn off that hall light?
Close the door and be sure that it's locked...
and I'll start the car.
I understand.
Oh, it's you. Come on in.
- Barnaby. - Huh?
- We're going to a dance. - Oh, yes.
And we're going to be late if we don't hurry.
Oh, yeah.
Now, let's start all over again. You've got your key.
- Mm-hmm. - No, it's in that pocket.
Oh, that's right. I put it there on purpose.
And you're going to turn the porch light on...
and the hall light off...
and then you're going to lock the door.
- Right. - Now, come along, darling.
- Barnaby, are you thinking? - Hmm? Hmm?
Oh, yeah, yeah.
It's pretty dark in here, isn't it?
That's better.
What are you thinking about?
Oh, it's the test we made in the lab today.
They proved that only 23% of the formula...
is being assimilated.
Oh, the formula.
Yeah. Well, you know what that means.
That-That means that 73% is absolute waste.
Seventy-three? What happened to the rest of it?
No, no. Not 73, 77. What did I say?
- Seventy-seven. - Well.
I guess that's why it's having so little effect...
on those chimpanzees we're experimenting with.
We've been giving it to them for over two months now.
Well, it certainly hasn't done what it should have done.
I thought it was doing rather well.
No, no.
No, that's the trouble. It isn't doing well at all.
What about that one monkey you told me about?
- Oh, you mean Rudolph. - He's pretty old, isn't he?
Well, Rudolph's about...
Well, he's about the equivalent of 84 years old in a human.
Well, didn't the formula cure his rheumatism?
Didn't it make his coat much glossier?
- Didn't you say he felt a lot better? - Well, in a way.
Well, then, what do you expect?
Well, it isn't what it should be, Edwina.
What must it be before you're satisfied with it?
Theoretically, it should have a much greater effect.
I've just got to find a way to make it more easily assimilable.
- Huh? - Assimilable? Assi...
- More easily assimilated. - Oh, yeah.
I thought I had a good idea at the front door just now.
I guess I just thought I had it. Anyway, it's gone.
- Well, it'll come back to you. - I doubt it.
It'll come back to you.
That's the trouble about being a chemist.
You know, you can't actually think.
Every now and then...
you feel compelled to sit and stare at a sheet of paper...
hoping it'll speak to you, but it never does.
Oh. Is that a new dress?
Mm-hmm.
Oh, I like that. Let me see it.
I like the way it sticks out.
- Or is that you? - Well, you ought to know.
It isn't you.
You ought to be going somewhere in a dress like that.
Yeah. Well, I'm glad you like it.
Holy smokes.
We forgot all about the party. Why didn't you remind me?
- We're not going. - Why not?
Well, we're not going for a number of reasons.
Oh?
One: When I dance with you, I want to dance with all of you.
I don't want your brain to be somewhere else.
I know.
You're not very often the absent-minded professor...
but, darling, when you are, you're a real zombie.
Yeah, I admit it.
And I don't want people to see you like that.
Now, go on.
Sit down and relax and be brilliant.
Hey.
- You know, you're all right. - How do you like your eggs?
How did eggs get in to the conversation?
You're hungry, aren't you?
I'll fix you something to eat...
and call Hank and tell him we're not coming.
- Did you telephone Hank? - Mm-hmm. He wasn't in.
- I left a message. - Oh.
Don't tell me you've solved the formula already.
No. No, I've had my mind on other things.
You've been looking forward to going to this party for a month, haven't you?
Now, darling, we're not even going to discuss it.
I know that. I was just thinking.
It's queer about people.
What about people?
Through no fault of their own, they get older.
- Now, that's a profound remark. - No, they do get older.
- Something happens to them. - Are you referring to me, Barnaby?
No, I was thinking of the human race as a whole.
Pretty sad group.
Would you get me some soup plates, darling?
If you don't think the human race undergoes...
certain morbid changes as it matures...
I ask you to recall the night of the Everett Winston party.
I don't recall any Everett Winston party.
Do you remember our honeymoon?
- Of course I do, darling. - I was hoping you would.
Well, the week after we got back from our honeymoon...
the Everett Winstons invited us to a party.
I'm sorry, darling, but I don't remember going.
We didn't go.
We didn't?
Oh, yes. Now I remember.
We stayed home. Just like tonight.
You know, Edwina, that's what I'm talking about.
We stayed home from that party for an altogether different reason.
Tonight we're staying home for an intellectual reason.
I remember we didn't want to share each other with anyone.
You were so sweet.
Remember how the telephone kept ringing...
for hours and hours and hours?
Remember?
I'll get it.
Aw. You see what I mean?
Tonight we're answering calls.
- Hi, Hank. - Hi.
Say, what's this message about not going out tonight?
- That's right. - Why?
Sometimes there are things more important than going to a dance.
Oh, the genius at work again, huh?
I'm glad I'm a lawyer and not a chemist.
- Where is he? - He's in the kitchen.
I've got a few things to say to him.
This has happened just once too often.
Now, look here, double dome.
What's the idea of doing something tonight...
you can do just as well tomorrow?
I'll get you a drink. You'll feel better.
Why can't you be a genius before sundown...
and a human being afterward?
Because I never know in advance when I'm going to be a genius.
Here's your drink.
You can't call off a date at the last minute...
when your wife's got a new dress and I've booked a table.
It just doesn't make sense.
No, I don't suppose it does.
What are you doing?
Nothing, dear. I think you'd better sit down.
Huh? What for?
Do as I tell you, and you'll see what I mean.
Cold?
I see what you mean.
And now neither one of you are making sense.
No. I think Mr. Entwhistle is disturbed...
because he can't take you to the party tonight...
and dance all over your feet as he did the last time.
I certainly didn't reserve a table and order flowers...
just to look at your face.
I don't suppose you did.
Sit down, have your soup while Hank drinks his drink.
And be careful. It's very hot. Is it all right now?
I can only tell you, Mrs. Fulton...
if you'd have been smart enough to marry me instead of this...
you wouldn't be in a kitchen cooking.
No? Where would she be cooking? Mmm!
- Barnaby, did you burn yourself? - I hope he did.
- Darling, I told you it was hot. - Don't worry. He has no feelings.
Here, eat some bread. Quickly. Darling, say something.
- Heat. - I know. Blow on it.
Heat. Just ordinary heat. I never thought of it.
Heat could make the formula 100% effective.
Darling, I think you solved the problem for me.
- Do you really think so? - I'm almost sure.
Hank, do you know what just happened?
He burned his mouth.
No, silly. He just solved our whole future.
If your whole future depends on figuring out that a plate of soup is hot...
Hey, now, wait a minute. Tell him, darling.
I've been promised a pretty good job if I can make this formula work.
No more commercial assignments.
No more working on nonskid girdles or noiseless popcorn bags.
- No fooling? - Yes, a roving commission.
Select my own field of research.
Exchange ideas with professors all over the world, including a percentage.
That's fine. It seems to me a celebration is in order.
No reason to stay home from the yacht club party now.
No. Except we're gonna stay home from the Everett Winston party.
Everett Winston left town three years ago.
We're staying home from his party.
But you can't stay home from a party if you...
- Your phone's ringing. - Yes, I know.
- Shall I answer it? - No, just let it ring.
- That's important, isn't it? - It's very important.
You two are way beyond me.
Please convey our regrets to the Everett Winstons.
And say we're very sorry.
The language is confusing, but the actions are unmistakable.
Good night, you two.
- Just a moment, please. - Good morning.
Oh, Dr. Fulton, Mr. Oxly would like to see you in his office.
Thank you.
- Good morning, Dr. Fulton. - Good morning.
Aren't you here early?
Oh, yes. Mr. Oxly's been complaining about my punctuation.
So I'm careful to get here before 9:00.
Mr. Oxly's on the telephone. Won't you sit down?
I'm glad we have a moment.
I have something I want to show you.
For instance?
- Isn't it wonderful? - I beg your pardon?
The new non-rip plastic stockings you invented.
Oh. The N4-1 Acetate Project.
This is an experimental pair, the first pair out of the factory.
- Aren't you proud? - Turned out rather well.
I'll say. You can't tear 'em or snag 'em or anything.
- I'm familiar with the product. - No matter how hard you try.
- You'd be amazed, Doctor. - Oh, no, I wouldn't be amazed.
I've done a lot of experimenting with this kind of thing.
Of course, I'm through with all of that now.
Uh, Mr. Oxly. Dr. Fulton's here.
- Good morning, sir. - Good morning. You can come in now.
- Thank you. - If you're not too busy.
Well, Miss Laurel was just showing me her acetates.
- Yes. Uh, no calls, please. - Yes, sir.
- Barnaby, I want to talk to you. - Yes, sir.
I'm very much interested in this new experiment of yours.
As a matter of fact, I'm all steamed up about it.
How's it coming?
Our problem is to increase the efficiency of the formula.
Could be quite a thing, you know.
I stumbled onto something last night that may be of help.
Well, that's good news.
Oh, I wanted you to see the advertising layout.
I want your opinion.
We jumped the gun on it a little, but I thought we'd better be ready.
Well... Well, why B-4?
B-4, as in, "before and after."
Emphasizes the youth angle.
Get it?
Hmph. What's the vulture doing?
That's a phoenix, a mythical bird...
rising out of the ashes of age.
Makes the youth point again.
Dignified, yet forceful.
Do you mind a comment?
Not at all. I'd welcome it.
- I think it's appalling. - From what point of view?
Well, it's lurid and inaccurate.
It implies that we're going to offer the public...
some sort of “fountain of youth" drug.
But wouldn't it make people young?
Mr. Oxly, we're working with a large number of ingredients...
each of which, as we know, accomplishes certain beneficial results.
Well?
It depends on which combination of those ingredients we use...
and the proportions in which we use them.
Mathematically, we may never find the right combination...
or the exact proportions to produce the effect you're talking about.
- It would be a miracle. - But you can do it, my boy.
I told you I didn't want any calls.
Mr. Oxly, Dr. Linten's on the phone.
I told him you were busy, but he says it's very important.
- Who is he? - He's my new assistant.
Oh, yes. Just a moment, Miss Laurel.
Find someone to type this.
- Oh, Mr. Oxly, can't I try again? - No, it's very important.
Better find someone to type it for you.
Yes, sir.
Anybody can type.
- Who did she say was calling? - Dr. Linten.
Oh, yes. Yes, Dr. Lintle?
Yes? I know he's not there.
Dr. Fulton is here with me.
Ye... What?
Really? What sort of reactions?
Why, that's amazing! We'll be right there.
Come along, Barnaby. You've done better work than you know.
- Come along, Miss Laurel. It's amazing. - What's amazing?
Dr. Whatchamacallit says one of your monkeys broke loose.
We've got to hurry.
He's acting very strangely. Obviously a reaction to your formula.
I knew you could do it, Barnaby. I knew it.
Be careful, Mr. Oxly. The monkey's turned wild.
- Behave yourself. - What happened, Jerome?
I haven't the slightest idea, Doctor.
All I know that he's opened the door of his cage...
and has been acting strangely.
Let go of him, gentlemen. Let's see him in action.
No telling what he's liable to do, sir.
Let go of him!
Look at that old chimp, Miss Laurel.
Eighty-four years old. Fourteen years older than I am.
- And just look at him. - I am looking, Mr. Oxly.
This is incredible.
Now, Rudolph, you come down.
I don't understand this. Have you been giving him stimulants?
Only the formula. Only X-57, Doctor.
The test we made yesterday gave no indication that...
Act your age! What's the matter with you today?
- Rudolph, come down here! - You're not acting like yourself.
This isn't like you.
Come on. Come on.
Now, come on, Rudolph. Behave yourself. Come down here.
- That's better. - What's he doing there?
That cage contains our new female monkey.
By George. By George!
Come here. Mr. Oxly, haven't you seen enough yet?
Come here.
Something's wrong.
Let me see if there's something I can do with him.
- You're welcome to him. - Now, Rudolph, you calm down.
Come on, Rudolph. You behave yourself. That's better.
Be a good boy. Do as I tell you. Come on down from there.
Come on. That's good. Come along. Come along.
All right.
Calm down and sit there. Let me look at you. Yes.
Well, gentlemen, I think we've seen enough.
I'd like to consult with Dr. Fulton alone.
Barnaby, if your formula will have the same effect on humans...
it's the greatest thing in modern science.
Sit down, Rudolph.
We intend to discontinue every other product in our plant.
We'll turn out B-4 and nothing but B-4.
I'd like to offer myself as the first human to try it.
Mr. Oxly, that may be dangerous.
I'm perfectly willing to take that chance.
Oh. This isn't Rudolph.
- What? - No, no, no.
This chimpanzee is only six months old.
Rudolph is a male. This is a female.
- Barnaby, are you sure? - Reasonably.
- She's wearing Rudolph's jacket. - But this is Esther.
Here, hold on to Esther, will you, please?
Look, I'll prove it to you.
Now, there's Rudolph with Esther's number on.
I suppose the janitor gave them a bath and switched jackets by mistake.
Yes, well, I suppose that's the way it happened.
- I certainly feel let down. - Personally, I'm glad it happened.
You're expecting too much from that formula...
that B-4, Mr. Oxly.
Perhaps it's the name that's confusing you.
If you'll just let me work in the laboratory for a couple of hours...
I'll be better able to prove what the formula will do.
Let me know when you're ready.
And let's have no more of these false alarms.
They certainly take it out of a man.
Come along, Miss Laurel.
What a ridiculous way to start a day.
I hope it doesn't get any worse.
Sodium ascipate.
3,000 milligrams.
Check.
You keep quiet, Esther.
- Ooh! - Don't you like the way I'm doing this?
Ooh-ooh.
- Molybdenum. - Ah.
- Sodium molybdate. - Yeah.
Let's see. Four-tenths each dose.
Three doses would be 1,200 milligrams, right?
Check.
Papain.
Two thousand milligrams for the whole three doses?
Check.
Well, that about does it.
Now, Jerome, we will refrigerate these factors and heat these.
These remain as is. We'll use Dr. Miller's cooler and incubator.
Shall we label this X-57 as usual?
No, X-58, and not B-4.
- Good morning. - Oh, Gus.
Did the monkeys take a bath this morning?
Why? Is there one missing?
- No, no, Gus. - Yes?
Did you bathe the monkeys this morning?
Yes, of course. Sure.
- Well, you mixed up their uniforms. - Oh, I did?
Oh, I'm awfully sorry, Doctor. I'll fix them up right away.
You can do it when you feed them this afternoon.
- But don't let it happen again. - No, sir, I won't.
Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh.
Oh, quiet down.
You've caused me enough trouble already.
Heh! Grown-up men playing with monkeys.
Mice, rabbits, guinea pigs.
- Ooh, ooh, ooh. - Now monkeys.
Oh, oh, oh, oh. Whew!
What's the matter?
Oh, my bursitis.
Well, that's one of the things I hope the formula will alleviate.
- You intend to take it yourself? - Certainly I do.
- Why not try it on Jerome? - I wouldn't dare try it on Jerome.
You remember what happened with the hair restorer?
Yes. One of our more successful experiments.
Well, we learned how to remove hair, anyway.
Let's talk about something else.
Hey, hey, hey. How did you get out of there?
Huh? Listen, Esther or Rudolph, whichever one you are.
Come on. You get right back in your cage.
No, I'm not gonna carry you. You walk.
Come on. What did you do, getting out? Get back in.
Go on. How'd you get out, anyway?
Gus. I thought you were going to attend to that later.
Oh, I wasn't changin' 'em, Doctor.
Esther got out, and I was putting her back in her cage.
Oh, I guess that was my fault. I forgot to close the lock.
Kinda messed your stuff up there.
- I'll take care of it, Gus. - All right.
Oh, don't bother with anything now, Jerome.
I'm anxious to try this.
Seriously, Doctor, you think you should take it?
Self-experimentation is against the rules of all good research.
Jerome, the history of discovery...
is the history of people who didn't follow rules.
Well, here goes.
To X-58 and a better world.
Mmm! Gosh, that's bitter.
I've got to get some water.
Oh, that Gus.
Hmm.
Oh, it even makes the water taste bitter.
Well, better put these away.
Theoretically, Doctor, what might be the first reaction?
- I haven't the vaguest idea. - What about the lag of time?
Depends upon the period of absorption.
It's quite possible that...
Hmm, touch of dizziness.
And you have a slight flush.
That's probably due to my natural excitement.
Hmm. Around 150.
Well, that's odd.
There's nothing in the mixture that could accelerate the heart.
And you feel dizzy, you said?
As a matter of fact, I believe it's increasing.
Well, I'd better record my reactions.
Pulse: 150. Is that right?
One-fifty.
Mounting vertigo.
No nausea.
A sensation not unlike...
a series of small electric shocks.
- Jerome, Jerome, where are you? - I'm here.
- What is it? - I can't see. I'm blind.
- Please, go on with the notes. - No, this is too serious.
Do as I tell you. There isn't time. I know what I took.
If there's an antidote, we'll have to find it ourselves.
Now, just take the notes.
It is like a cloud, a very peculiar feeling.
General milkiness, but no discomfort.
In fact, it's a sensation of extreme well-being.
It's as if I...
Doctor, what is it?
A paralysis? Can you speak?
Try tapping once for yes, two for no.
Can you hear me? Doctor, can you hear me?
Perfectly. Hand me the telephone book, please.
- Whose number do you want? - Let me have the book.
Inglewood. Drop Forge and Tool Company.
1065 West Hauser Avenue...
Inglewood West 60945.
It isn't possible.
It is possible, Jerome.
For the first time in ten years...
I am able to see without my glasses.
- Perfect vision. - I can't believe it.
There. Now I'm blind again. Fog, you see?
Now I can see again.
Doctor, X-58 seems to be a success.
Oh, indeed it does.
- I'll try my bursitis. - Ooh!
Oh, I beg your pardon.
Not a twinge!
This is amazing.
Dr. Barnaby Fulton, let me shake hands...
with the next Nobel Prize winner.
Delighted!
Pardon me. My phone's running over.
Hello, Department of Water and Power.
Which one would you care to have cut off?
- Hello? Hello? - Hello!
Oh, Barnaby, you sound as if the formula was a success.
Did it go well?
Anybody giving a party we can stay home from again tonight?
Oh, Barnaby. No one I know of.
Oh, what a shame.
Then pour yourself into that new dress, and we'll go celebrate.
All right. I'll be ready.
But don't forget what you have to do.
- First, get a haircut. - Haircut, yeah.
- And get a new suit. - New suit, yeah.
Oh, and, darling, stop by the automobile agency.
Mr. Peabody just called and says he has a very good buy.
A good buy, eh? Well, good-bye to you.
Oh, what a joke. A real knee-slapper.
You do feel all right?
I'll get it.
Hello, Griffith Park Zoo. Snake Department.
- Hello, hello. What is this? - What do you want?
This is Mr. Oxly.
I'll see if he's here.
- No, I said, this is Oxly. - Who is?
- I am, speaking. - Oh, you're Mr. Speaking.
This is Mr. Oxly speaking.
Oxly Speaking. Any relation to Oxly?
- Barnaby Fulton, is that you? - Who's calling?
I am, Barnaby!
You're not Barnaby. I'm Barnaby. I ought to know who I am.
- This is Oxly speaking, Barnaby! - Well, now, that's ridiculous.
You can't be all three. Figure out which one you are and call me back.
And I'm coming right down there!
Coming right down... all three of him.
What will you do? What will you tell him?
- I won't be here. - Where are you going?
- I've got things to do. - What?
I've got to get my hair cut and a new suit and car.
But Mr. Oxly will be furious. What shall I tell him?
Just tell him the truth... you don't know who he is.
I can't say that.
- Just keep your Bunsen burning. - But, Doctor...
Where's Dr. Fulton? I want to see him.
- He just left. - I didn't pass him in the hall.
- He went through the window. - Through the window?
What's this all about? What's happened to the man?
He took some of the formula and went out of here acting as though...
No, exactly as though he were 20 years old.
By George. By George. Do you know where he went?
- Yes, sir. - Hello. Get me Miss...
Hello. Get me Miss Laurel, quick.
- Where did he go? - To buy a new automobile, sir.
- What kind of car does he drive? - A Ford.
Hello, Miss Laurel. Now, listen carefully.
I want you to go to every Ford agency in town...
and find Dr. Fulton.
But, Mr. Oxly, what shall I do first?
He'll be at the agencies.
To find him, you'll have to go there.
- Oh, I see, Mr. Oxly. - And bring him back here.
Yes, sir. Right away.
Well, Doctor, I cut it the way you wanted me to.
- I hope Mrs. Fulton likes it. - She will.
- What do you think? - It fits rather well.
But are you sure it's what you want, Dr. Fulton?
Tell me, do they ever wear trousers to match?
Oh, very seldom. Usually gray flannels.
I see.
Oh! These socks ought to go well with it.
To be honest with you, Dr. Fulton...
I don't think either you or Mrs. Fulton...
are going to be happy with this type of car.
It isn't exactly what you had in mind.
Yeah, well, you're perfectly right. Let's take off the fenders.
I'm sorry, we can't do that, Doctor. It's against the state law.
Oh, it's too bad.
You don't happen to have a beaver tail around, do you? I...
Hello, Miss Laurel.
Oh, hello, Dr. Fulton.
Hi!
Hi.
I'm so glad I found you.
No, I found you. Pick a finger.
Dr. Fulton!
Oh, you know that one. Oh, what a pity.
Mr. Oxly sent me. He wants to see you right away.
Oh, well, hop in the bus. I'll get you there in a hurry.
- Is this your car? - Sure.
- Gee, it's a honey. - It takes one to know one.
Oh, Mr. Peabody...
will you get that suit box out of my old car, please?
Well, all set?
- Is your motor running? - Is yours?
Here you are, Doctor.
Thank you, Mr. Peabody. Just mail me the bill.
- Certainly. - Takes a while to warm up.
It does me too.
Well, watch your head. I'll watch everything else. Hoo!
Oh, Dr. Fulton, this is fun.
What about Mr. Oxly? The plant's back that way.
I know. We're going to circle the field.
So fasten your safety belt and no smoking.
- Oh, Doctor! - Look and see if the flaps are down.
Well, Doc, she'll be good as new by 5:00.
5:00? Oh, we can do lots of things by then.
- Can't we? - Sure, Doc.
- Come along. - Do you skate much, Doc?
Not lately. But don't worry. I'll show you how.
Look out, Doc!
Careful!
Oh, I'm all right. I'll get the hang of it soon.
I'm gonna be good. You wait. Oh, my God! Whoa!
Doc, that's awful high.
Oh, no, not for me. Well, everybody looking at me?
- How about some music? - I'd love it.
You sure know how to have a good time.
You know something? I used to think you didn't like me.
- Just a minute. - Do you like me a little?
- Just a minute. - Well, say so.
- I like you. - I'm crazy about you, Doc.
Oh, no, no. Wait. Listen to this.
- Oh, that's dull... - Don't you dare turn that off.
- That's our favorite song. - Ours?
- Yeah. Edwina's and mine. - Edwina?
- My wife. - Oh.
It sounds like a silly song to me.
Why must you say that?
In my opinion, it's a silly song.
In my opinion, your opinion that it's a silly song is a silly opinion.
Oh!
- Is it getting dark? - No, not particularly.
What's the matter?
Must be something wrong with my eyes.
Is there anything I can do, Doctor?
No, no, no. It's just, I can't see very well.
- Please don't be angry with me. - Oh, I'm not angry.
Because I would...
Why did you yell?
Because...
Nothing.
- Don't be mad at me. - Oh, I'm not mad.
Tell me, is the plant along here somewhere?
Yes.
Would you please tell me where to turn?
Turn right. Now.
- Turn, Doctor, turn! - Now?
Yes, turn! Turn!
- Doctor! - Are you all right, Miss Laurel?
- I told you to turn. - Yes, yes, I know.
I'm terribly sorry, but I'm afraid I can't see.
Would you be good enough to park the car for me, please?
- Sure, I will. - Thank you.
Hello, Mrs. Fulton.
Good evening, Joe. Thanks for calling me.
- Is the doctor in his office? - Yes, ma'am.
When I went to tell him you were coming, he'd gone to sleep...
so I didn't wake him up.
Does Mr. Oxly know that the doctor's come back?
Yes, ma'am. He said he'd be down.
Thank you, Joe.
Mmm? Who is it?
It's me, darling.
Oh, hello, Edwina. I can't see you.
- Where are your glasses? - Let me think.
I left them in the lab. Jerome probably put them someplace.
I'll find them for you. Oh, here they are.
- Whew! - Barnaby.
Are you sure you're all right? Here.
Oh. I'm just a little fuzzy. What time is it?
It's almost 8:00.
Oh, no. It's that late?
Oh, I've done it again. We were going out for dinner.
I've already had dinner, but I've brought some for you.
Edwina, I'm terribly sorry. I wouldn't have...
I know you wouldn't have, darling.
- Where did you get the poodle? - Poodle?
Don't tell me I bought a poodle.
- The haircut. - Oh, yeah, that, that. Oh, yeah.
That's quite a jacket you bought too.
Yeah, I know.
Wait till you see the car I got.
- No, what kind? - You'll see it soon enough.
Darling, you were a real idiot to try the formula on yourself.
- Something could have happened. - Oh, it did.
I mean, something serious. Here, have some coffee.
Thank you. Oh. Oh, I strained every muscle in my body.
Roller-skating.
Don't tell me you went roller-skating.
I'm afraid I did.
And your face is breaking out with red blotches.
Oh, they're not blotches, dear. That's lipstick.
Oh.
Yeah. Edwina, what I have to tell you is unbelievable.
Yes, it is unbelievable on roller-skates. Hmm, what balance.
Well, I wasn't on roller-skates all afternoon.
Obviously.
No. You'll never believe what I did.
- I broke records. - Huh?
You'd have been amazed. I wish you could've been there.
I wish I had been too.
I did things that I never dreamed I'd do.
You know, I tried to swan-dive.
I missed.
Well, no wonder you're worn out.
Barnaby, all of this is very confusing.
- What about the formula? - That's what I was telling you about.
- Oh. Oh! - I'll start at the beginning.
At 11:52 this morning...
I took a dose of the formula, and in a few minutes...
I began to behave exactly like a college boy...
with 20/20 vision and no bursitis.
And plenty of lipstick.
Uh... Well, the formula had nothing to do with that.
I'll get to that later.
Edwina, we've discovered something...
that the human race has been searching for since the beginning of time.
Are you really serious, Barnaby? It works?
Well, it did on me.
Of course, I can't explain the reactions.
It seems to work on the mind.
Edwina, imagine: People never aging.
It sounds frightening. You mean, it really does that?
Well... Of course, I don't know half of what it'll do.
The dose I took has already worn off.
Let's see, that was eight hours.
Oh. Probably, the dose was wrong.
- Well, we'll see. - Hey, where are you going?
I'm going to try the experiment again...
but this time with a larger dose.
Huh? Oh!
Switch on the light, will you, please, dear?
Barnaby.
Must you make another test?
Oh, probably several.
I'm glad you're here to see that nothing goes wrong this time.
I want you to observe and make notes of everything I do.
Knowing me so well, you'll be able to interpret...
the exact meaning of my behavior pattern.
Don't you think you ought to change that coat...
and wipe that stuff off your face before you try it again?
- Oh, yes. Perhaps you're right. - Whose lipstick is it?
Uh, what's-her-name's... you know, Oxly's secretary.
Oh. You mean, that little pinup girl?
- Very cute. - Sort of, but half infant.
Not the half that's visible.
Well, she's not my type.
Barnaby, how much of this stuff are you going to take?
Just what I've poured out there. I've increased the dose.
See, that way, I'll be...
Edwina, what are you doing?
What did you do that for?
'Cause this is the way it should be.
After all, you're the scientist, and you should do the observing.
- But... - Don't argue.
Go get your notebook. I've done it.
Oh, it tastes bitter. Get me some water.
Oh, now, really, Edwina. For heaven's sake.
Besides, according to your story...
you weren't exactly 100% scientist after you took it.
Other things became much more interesting.
Perhaps you're right.
Oh. Even the water tastes bitter.
It did to me too.
Barnaby, I'm a little bit frightened.
- I'm here, dear. - It's kind of silly, isn't it?
I'll take care of you.
I don't feel anything.
- Is it supposed to work right away? - Just a few moments.
Would you clean off your face?
Because if I get ten years younger and see that lipstick...
I'm liable to knock somebody's block off.
Yes, dear.
Barnaby, is it true about B-4?
I've just heard the most fantastic things about you. Does it work?
You'll have a chance to judge for yourself quite soon, Mr. Oxly.
My wife just took 50 CCs of the formula.
Really? By George, by George.
Dr. Brunner and Miss Laurel are on their way.
Leave word they are to come here immediately.
Mrs. Fulton, it's very kind of you to lend yourself to this experiment.
Thank you, Mr. Oxly.
Well, we have to watch your reactions, darling.
Yes, I suppose so.
Now I know how a poor little guinea pig must feel.
- May I sit down? - Yes, dear.
Don't just stand there. Do something.
Yes, dear.
Mmm.
Pulse around 150, just the same as mine was.
There doesn't seem to be any fever.
Outside of being somewhat embarrassed, I feel exceedingly well.
What reaction do you expect, Barnaby?
I don't quite know.
I suppose it depends upon the individual.
With you, it took the form of thinking as though you were 20.
Oh, it's true. Keep still, Edwina.
What was Mrs. Fulton like at that age?
Huh?
Well, Edwina was a very serious-minded student.
She majored in economics...
and took several summer courses in ichthyology and cooking.
- Ichthyology? - Mmm, the study of fish.
Jerome said your first symptom was your eyes.
Your vision became perfect.
True, but you can't count upon that.
See, Edwina's vision is already perfect.
It will probably take an entirely different form.
My dear, do you feel anything strange?
Not a thing. How about you, Mr. Oxly?
Oh, but I haven't taken anything.
Oh, yes, you have, Mr. Oxly.
Hear that, Barnaby? A rather odd reaction.
Undoubtedly, we can expect something soon.
- We certainly can. - She's sitting very still.
Is it possible there's not enough movement?
If there isn't, there soon will be.
I can hardly wait for the results.
This is quite a moment.
That's it, Oxly! Watch him, Barnaby! It's working!
It's working. You hear what she said, Barnaby?
It's taking effect.
- Something wrong, Barnaby. - What's the matter, sir?
I don't know.
Perhaps the excitement's been too much for you.
Perhaps you ought to sit down, Mr. Oxly. Calm yourself, Mr. Oxly.
Now, take your time, Mr. Oxly.
That's better. Take your time and sit down.
Oh, my.
We ought to go now.
We ought to go. Yes.
- Barnaby, what are you doing? - I'll be right back.
Hi, Dr. Fulton.
- Hi. - What did you say to her?
Mrs. Fulton, he said "hi."
I heard what he said, you peroxide kissing bug.
Edwina, she hasn't done anything.
I'll pull that blonde hair out by its black roots.
Edwina, now come along. Miss Laurel, keep out of the way.
- Put 'em up! Put 'em up! - Edwina, now stop it.
- Mr. Oxly, I'll be right back. - Put 'em up! Put 'em up!
Wasn't that fun?
Did ya see him jump? I put a fish in his trousers.
- Let's go back and have more fun. - I don't think we'd better.
- Why not? Where are we going? - Anywhere.
- Let's go dancing. - Edwina...
All right, we'll go dancing. Anything you say.
Oh, is this our new car?
- I'm afraid it is. - Hey, that's super-duper.
- Oh, you like it? - Oh, boy, yes!
Hey, why don't you let me drive. You get over there, huh?
I know.
We'll go dancing at the Pickwick Arms.
Pickwick Arms?
Yeah, that's in La Jolla. Don't you remember?
Of course I remember.
Room 304, where we spent our honeymoon.
All that way?
Yeah, we'll stop by the house and get some things.
- Won't it be fun? - Just to go dancing?
Edwina, I put the bags in the car.
We can keep your coat on the...
Barnaby, do you think this is too conservative?
- Well, I... - What do you think?
- Well, I... - Say something.
- Well, I... - Glad you like it.
I'm gonna drive. You're too slow.
How do you work this? Oh, yes. Like that.
Oh, Barney, it's gonna be our honeymoon night all over again.
- With no hands! - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Honeymoon with no hands. Yeah. Sure.
Aren't you excited?
Yes, of course, dear, but there's no hurry about it.
Wouldn't you like to slow down so that we can talk?
Who wants to talk?
Well, Edwina, I have to test your reactions.
Oh, Barney!
Oh, it's wonderful to have the wind in your hair...
and watch the moon and the stars...
- And the road! - Oh, the road.
Evening, sir.
- Oh, good evening. - Would you like to register?
Yes, please.
Do you have a small suite overlooking the ocean, please?
- Uh, yes, sir. - Thank you.
- Psst! Psst! - I beg your pardon?
- Psst! - Oh.
- Is room 304 vacant? - Yes.
- That's the bridal suite, you know. - Yes, I know.
Psst!
Oh, yeah.
Could you please leave word that we're not to be disturbed?
Yes, sir.
- 304. - Come along, dear.
- Thank you very much. - Yes, indeed.
Edwina. Edwina, dear.
Barney, listen to that. Let's not waste time.
Let him take the bags on up to the room.
Darling, it's 11:00. I've had a very rough day.
- Oh, Barney, you promised. - Oh, oh, oh, oh.
Just put the keys in the room, bring me the bags, and I'll...
Barney. Barney, don't go to sleep. This is our song.
Oh. Yes, dear.
- Barney? - Hmm?
Every time I hear it, it makes me feel...
Darling, I could never be mad or unhappy when I hear it.
I just want to be near you.
Yes, dear.
Barney, waltz, waltz, waltz.
Yes, dear.
Oh, no! No!
Whew!
Oh, oh, come on, Edwina.
There you go.
Ha-ha! Whee!
Get up, Edwina.